I’ve been experimenting with mind-setting these days. I’ve recently come to the realization that I have been propelling my self forward with negativity and self hate. I would always always talk my self with hateful words especially when I wasn’t able to meet my own expectations I had for my self. Saying things like, “you are so stupid and incompetent” or ” you aren’t good enough, you never will be” or “you are such a failure to your self, your family, and everyone around you”. Writing those phrases down really digs in to my heart and saddens me because I wish I listened to what I was saying to myself earlier and stopped myself sooner. but I’m also glad I have this opportunity to really change.
The steps I have taken for positive growth are:
- expanding my love for art (sketching and painting) – thinking back to my childhood, I used love to draw and I did draw a lot… until my family went bankrupt. From here, my childhood wasn’t an ideal one for a child. My life got real and serious very fast. I thought hobbies were a waste of time. I thought my life will be okay if I just studied really hard and get good marks which will eventually get me a job so I could support my self and the people I cared about. Obviously, life isn’t that simple and good grades only gets you barely anywhere (or even nowhere depending on the life route you want to take). But this is I thought I had to do inorder to put my life in order.
- morning stretches – I used to study alot, and I mean alot… bad study posture combined with minor schrolosis continued for 3-4 years due to ignorance resulted in wrecking my posture and helped my bad posture set in stone. I had neck pain and, although very rarely, woke up in the middle of the night because of discomfort in my neck… I went to chiropractor which there I was diagnosed with schrolisis. after my chiro sessions ended I started with attending yoga classes. Chiro sessions are extremely, extremely expensive and yoga was although cheaper than chiro, was still expensive and were are very time-consuming, and as a student, I have neither time or money. Now I watch stretching tutorials on youtube. at first, I primarily focused on stretching exercises for correcting neck posture but now I do over-all body stretching on top of that if I have time. I like to experiment different tutorials from various youtube channels. whether I am following a tutorial I have done before or whether I am following a new tutortial, I find both to be very entertaining.
- Probiotics and digestive enzymes
- Cleaning my room
- volunteering as a pianist for my church- devoting my time and energy in to an organization that appreciates my efforts are very satisfying.